NOTICE: Your debt is forgiven. - Dylan Jovine

Writing About the Stock Market & Life Since 2003


NOTICE: Your debt is forgiven.

What would you say the 3 hardest things on earth to accomplish are?

No, I’m not talking about trekking across the North Pole by yourself.

Nor am I talking about climbing up the Himalayas. Or winning the Tour De France.

Those have all been done before.

Nope, I’m talking about something that has never been done before. Something that is so far from the realm of possibility you almost can’t imagine it.

Here’s my list —

1. Getting your most liberal friend to vote for Trump

2. Getting a refund from a Chinese restaurant

3. Getting a credit card company to forgive your debt

Let’s take them one at a time.

Getting your most liberal friend to vote for Trump.

Now I don’t know if your die-hard liberal friends are anything like mine. But with my friends, Trump could eliminate unemployment, raise the minimum wage, double the stock market and bring peace to the Middle East and there is no way they would vote for him.

Getting a refund from a Chinese restaurant.

This should be self-explanatory but if it isn’t, I dare you to try. I double dare you. If you do, you may find yourself in your very own trade war with the Chinese.

Getting a credit card company to forgive your debt.

For the first 47 years and 3 months of my life I would have said “never happen.” But that all changed four days ago when I learned that Chase Bank sent a letter to its customers in Canada that it is forgiving all their debt.

Paul Adamson, of Dundalk, Ontario, said he was “flabbergasted.”

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Douglas Turner of Coe Hill, Ontario, who still owed more than $4,500 on his card.

How did this happen?

“Chase made the decision to exit the Canadian credit card market. As part of that exit, all credit card accounts were closed on or before March 2018. A further business decision has been made to forgive all outstanding balances in order to complete the exit,” Maria Martinez, vice president of communications for Chase Card Services, said in a statement.

I honestly don’t even know what to say. The Church Lady’s “Well, well, well isn’t that special?”

Then I began to wonder how the opening of the letter might have been written.

Dear Douglas, 

We are writing to notify you that, after much soul-searching, we’ve decided to close your credit card and forgive all of your outstanding debt.

Yes, you read that correctly. The $4,500 you’ve been paying off for the past eleven years is forgiven.

We’ve made this decision because we don’t want you to have to worry about it anymore. Owing money makes you worry all the time. Who needs the aggravation? You certainly don’t!

That’s as far as I got with my imaginary version of Chase letter before I got a better idea….

I decided it was time for me to pick another fight with a Chinese restaurant.

“The Buck Stops Here”

Dylan Jovine


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