After ten strong years at the helm of the World Bank, James Wolfensohn announced plans to step down on May 31 of this year. You’ll never guess who’s on the short list to replace him.
- Mar 04, 2005
- admin
- Entrepreneur, Investing
MEMO FROM THE OFFICE OF DYLAN JOVINE:
World Bank Headquarters
1818 H Street, N.W.
Washington DC 20433
To: James D. Wolfensohn, President
From: Dylan P. Jovine, Tycoon Research
Re: Your Potential Replacement(s)
Dear Mr. Wolfensohn,
My name is Dylan Jovine.
I am the Chief Investment Officer of investment research
firm, Tycoon Research.
If you haven’t heard of us yet, Tycoon Research is a
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But enough about us.
Let me tell you the real reason I’m writing.
I happen to be a big fan of the World Bank.
Any organization (if managed correctly) whose mission it is
to fight global poverty is ok in my book.
And since you took the reins as President of this fine
institutiuon 10 years ago, the World Bank has indeed been
managed correctly.
To borrow from the magazine The Economist, under your guidance,
the World Bank today “does more to fight poverty than ANY
other public body.”
Even U.S. Treasury Secretary/ Cheney puppet
John Snow almost sounded original when he praised your
accomplishments during the past 10 years as “historic.”
Which brings me to my next point.
By now it’s well known that you’re stepping down as President
on May 31.
Of course I understand.
After a decade at the helm you’re ready for a new challenge.
A fresh start.
A different group of begging bureaucrats.
And a lot of people want your job.
According to the New York Times, the top 3 people on the
“short list” to replace you is:
1. Paul “Wolfie” Wolfowitz, deputy secretary of defense;
2. Randall L. Tobias, global AIDS coordinator for the White House; and
3. John B. Taylor, under secretary of the Treasury for International
Affairs.
Up until Wednesday I was cool with the list.
Sure I wouldn’t consider any a Mother Teresa-type.
But I certainly think each has the ability to create
a whole new set of client-states permanently indebted
to the United States.
But then – seemingly out of nowhere – came an addition
to the list that I wasn’t expecting.
An addition so – how shall I say it? – “surprising” that I
had to have it read to me – thrice.
The name was none other than Carleton Fiorina, the former CEO
of Hewlett-Packard (SYM: HPQ).
In a matter of days she went from the rear of the pack to the
front of the pack.
From tear drops and chocolate to bloated bellies and mud.
Just like Ah-nold….
She’s back!
Maybe it’s just me here Mr. Wolfensohn, but doesn’t this
strike you as a wee bit ironic?
I mean, how is it possible that Carly Fiorina – a person
directly responsible for destroying so much wealth – is put
in charge of an organization designed with the sole
purpose of creating wealth?
Wasn’t it just 3 weeks ago that she was forced to “resign”
from her disastrous stint as CEO of HP?
A stint that was highlighted by the disastrous purchase of
Compaq.
A purchase so large – $24 Billion – that it dwarfs the
combined GDP’s of the 8 largest beneficiaries of aid that
your organization provides!
So, while I am still confused as to who put Carly’s name
on the ballot, I have come up with a theory.
Perhaps the people responsible for floating her name
to the World Bank are former shareholders of Compaq.
That’s right.
Maybe they think the job she did raising THEM from imminent
poverty on a corporate level qualifies her to
tackle the problem on a state level.
In that aspect her candidacy is certainly feasible.
It’s just too bad she didn’t do it on behalf of the
Hewlett-Packard, the company that actually hired her to do
it.
Remember, you are what you read.
–Dylan Jovine