Silly stock analysts and the American family.
- Feb 16, 2006
- admin
- Investing
To: Safa Rashtchy, Piper Jaffray Google Analyst
From: Tommy Parker
“Dear Mr. Rashtchy,
My name is Tommy Parker. I just tuned 8 yeers old.
This is the furst letter I’ve ever witten to any-body.
(Exspect yesturday I wote a card axing Nancy to be my Ballentine).
I live in Hackensack, New Jersey.
I used to go to Public School 96.
The reason I’m witing you is becuzz of something that happoned
wecently at home.
It was a big fight between my mommy and my daddy.
The fight was over somthing my daddy did.
Last month at dinner, daddy annunced that he had bought a bunch
of Google stock for us.
He said he bought it because you wrote a report saying
the stock was going to $600 per share.
Mommy was very upset.
She said that daddy was stupid to invest a lot of money on the basis
of an analysts recomdations.
Daddy pulled out yer Piper Jaffrey report from his briefcase and
put it on the table to show her.
Sure enough it said that Google was going to $600.
Daddy said he would make a quick 150 points on Google and it would
help with “these damn gas prices.”
But mommy said daddy was stoopid to trust an anlyst.
That seemed to really piss daddy off.
He told mommy that she never got the “big picture.”
Then he said mommy would never do anything in life becuzz
she got the “small-minded thinking from her middle-class
parents.”
Mommy looked very mad but she didn’t say anything back.
We finished dinner in silence.
(Mommy didn’t even make me finish my peas).
This was about a month ago, right after New Years eve.
But last week mommy and daddy started fighting at dinner
again.
I think mommy asked daddy where Google was trading.
(She kinda asked the question the way she asks me if I
brushed my teeth before bedtime – when she knows I didn’t).
Daddy mumbled something about “short-term hiccups.”
Mommy reminded him that Google was selling for $350 per
share.
It seems that its almost $100 points lower then when he
bought it.
Daddy called mommy a “blood sucking leech who always held
him back in life.”
He also said mommy was “like a vampire” and it was “slowly
killing him.”
Then mommys face got really red.
She took a deep breath and told me to go to my room.
(I didn’t even get to finnish my dessert).
Even though I went upstairs the fighting kept getting wurse.
But I was so tired I ended up falling asleep anyway.
At around mid-nite mommy woke me up while I was sleeping.
She said that we were going to the beach for a swim.
When we got into the car daddy was already laying in the
back seat.
Mommy said daddy was very tired and needed to sleep
“for a very long time.”
I was suprised that daddy didn’t change his shirt before
leaving because he had a big ketchup stain on it.
(Daddy always makes sure my clothes are clean for school).
But when we got to the beach, mommy helped daddy get into
the water.
He went in all by himself.
It didn’t seem like he wanted to swim around though.
(Mommy said daddy was practicing for his diving test).
After a while mommy said we betterleave daddy to dive alone
because he would feel much better later.
The next day daddy didn’t come home but a bunch of strangers
with guns came over and said mommy was going away for a while.
They said I had to go to Nanna’s house now.
(Luckily I grabbed the Google report you wrote and put it
in my napsack. It still has dried ketchup on it though.)
The reason I’m writing you is because I read the bullish
report you wrote and I had two questions.
Question #1: What does it mean on the report when it says,
“Piper Jaffray has received compensation for investment banking
services from, or has had, a client relationship with Google Inc.
within the past 12 months.”
Question #2: What does it mean on the report when it says,
“Within the past three years, Piper Jaffray participated in
a public offering of, or acted as a dealer manager for,
Google Inc. securities.”
I hope you answer these questions for me before next week on
Thursday because I’m leaving on a trip.
Nanna’s taking me to see mommy in her new home.
(I just hope this time I can hug her).
Thank you very much,
Tommy Parker
P.S. Oh, I forgot to ask: Is there any difference between
an investment banker and an analyst?